My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
