did you get engaged???
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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