i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
