i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
