you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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