Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
