I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
