textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
