don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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