..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
