its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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