living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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