sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize