My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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