lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
