The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
