Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i now understand why vodka
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
