I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
