Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Jerry, you need to find god
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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