We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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