I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize