i just wanna soil my oats bro
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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