8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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