I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
