Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
