turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
