Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
there's paper in my vomit.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
