i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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