physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
