Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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