i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sorry about my life...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize