Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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