After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I can't put those talents on a resume
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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