I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
