I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
it's like iHOP with fire
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Randomize
