Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
