I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He passed out mid-signature
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
