I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
