He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
