Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
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