Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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