She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We just shotgunned beers for America
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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