Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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