Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
