Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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