the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
