her vagine was all disorganized.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
