I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
bring money and cleavage
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
