One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize