Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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