I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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