She is in my trunk
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
