Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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