Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
