the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
