Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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