no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
