you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
