I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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