her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I think my moral compass just broke
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
