Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Ketchup is God's man juice
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
