pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
