I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dear god my vagina.
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