Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize